How can I catch a mid-life crisis?
I have found that the times that I have actually lost weight have been times in which I have hit rock bottom. I guess I haven’t hit that yet this time around. I am struggling to figure out what really motivates me and I am clueless.
I have offered myself positive reinforcement in the form of rewards. I either forget about them and forget about the diet and exercise, or I just buy them anyway.
I buy myself new notebooks and pens for me to journal my food. It lasts a couple of days and then I get bored.
I have even tried negative reinforcement. For example, I won’t allow myself a haircut until I lose X pounds. Then I get into this self-loathing cycle and decide that I need a haircut so that I’ll feel better about myself and once I feel better about myself, I’ll have to energy to try to lose weight.
I don’t want to have to gain more weight to hit rock bottom so that I am actually ready to lose weight, hence the need for the mid-life crisis. How do I motivate myself?
I have a friend who likes to ask me what I am afraid of. She’ll say, “Shannon, why are you afraid to say no to a beer with friends? Why are you afraid to say no to going out to eat?” I get kind of pissy when she asks me those things, mainly because I don’t want to answer them. What it boils down to is that I don’t want to be the wet blanket. I don’t want to be the boring friend. I want to be the fun one. Plus, it pisses me off to have to say no when other people don’t have to say no. I want my cake and to eat it to. I don’t want to deny myself anything. OMG, I am a total spoiled brat.
I need to have the “mid-life, holy cow, I am fat and need to get myself into shape crisis” NOW. It’s not like it is going to get any better or easier as time goes on.
Part of this whiny, snivvely feeling-sorry-for-myself bit has to do with PMS and lack of sleep. I had two nights so far this week when I have been up until 3:00 am (Cubs trip and midnight showing of Harry Potter.) That’s not helping things. But, it’s not an excuse to eat whatever I want and be a lazy bum either. I am also using a huge amount of mental energy on a friend who is going through a divorce. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad to be there for her, but it doesn’t leave much energy for me to focus on myself.
Do you see all of the excuses I am putting out there? I can find a million reasons to not lose weight. I have to change my thinking and convince myself that losing weight is a good thing. I mean, I know it’s a good thing. ;) What I have to convince myself that the hard work of losing weight is worth it. Maybe that’s my problem. It took all of this rambling to figure it out. I have to convince myself myself that the end result is worth the hard work. I haven’t done that yet. I haven’t bought in yet. The hard work is a turn-off. I am going to work on that today.
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Wow, you sound a lot like me!!! Nothing motivated me. I could lose 5 pounds or more during a crisis, but gain back 10 or more. It was quite frustrating. I couldn’t get motivated for anything or anyone….until I got diagnosed with diabetes in 2006. It took that to motivate me. Even still, battling this illness, I continue to overeat, eat things I should not and be lazy and not exercise. It’s really dumb! I got more serious when I went to a cardiologist and I was told that I have leaking heart valves too, because I am inactive and overweight. So, that was the major reason I started walking last year and rededicating myself for my health. I have had some setbacks, but I know what I need to do. There’s no one else that can give it to you. You can be inspired by others but you have to be the one to work for it.
I try and set small goals for myself when I don’t feel like walking. Like, just for today I am going to walk for 30 minutes. If you can’t do that then say “I will exercise for 10 minutes today” and start with that. Maybe if you do the 10 mins you may want to do more. Then, the next day you go for the same goals. I also am in some challenges here where we log in daily with our exercise and that helps because then I feel I HAVE to do the exercise and I HAVE to check in. The eating right part tho is the hardest. But, I am trying.
You can do this one day at a time, and you’ve got us buddies here to help you.
Hey girl, I think we all go through times where we feel like this. So, I can relate. So, it looks like you’ve tried to motivate yourself and it works for a few and then falls off to the side. My only question is this: How do you think it would feel to be 250 or even 300 lbs?? Stop and think about that next time you feel unmotivated.
I dont know if that thought would help, but worth a shot at least. Good luck.
Come on Shannon - it’s not rocket science - the problem is that you are saying all the wrong things to yourself - give over with the self loathing will ya - I’m awful at this, I lose motivation, I buy a notebook then I lose interest, I dont want to be a wet blanket, I’m afraid of the hard work! etc
How the hell is THAT sort of talk going to help you achieve anything - you are jsut totally setting yourself up for failure - have you ever heard the expression “fake it until you make it” thats what’s required here - a bit of positive self talk (fake or otherwise)
For gawds sake tell yourself that you can do it, that you are motivated, that you want to suceed and above all that this is easy.
And Shannon in case you needed me to say this - Tough! you CANT have your cake and eat it - not at the moment any way - and certainly not if you want to lose your extra pounds - you’re just going to have to suck it up - like the rest of us!
In Love and sisterhood
Shelli X